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The Native Genius of Desert Plants

by Tyler Lyle

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1.
Ditchdigger 05:13
I choose my eyes wide open and my heart half broken every time Over a gilded golden shackled reassuring sentimental lie I've seen the rolling meadows and the cruelest ghettos in this town I know the baker and the undertaker and the girl with stars on her gown But the song that sounds the best to me is the chorus of the maple leaves And the river bends into the sea its course is fixed and so are we But I got sunshine, sunshine all over me Brown eyes, blue skies are all I see I do not care to offer any commentary on the world I only sing for the pleasure and for a certain sentimental girl And I did not come to establish any new world somewhere up in the clouds I just want to make love in the morning work till evening and then watch the sun go down Over this aimless and upward climb The hidden hand guides the searching vine And the river bends into the sea its course is fixed and so are we But I got sunshine, sunshine all over me Brown eyes, blue skies are all I see And strangest fruit grows from the ledge Oh my friends, my friends go near to the edge But I got sunshine, sunshine all over me Brown eyes, blue skies are all I see
2.
Eighteen 03:51
I wish I met you ten years ago When I was eighteen A tragic late bloomer with no sense of humor dreaming of my gypsy queen You would've found me on the couch playing with my flip phone at some house party off campus waiting to walk home alone You would’ve offered me a pot brownie When I imagine it now and we would’ve talked all night danced till sunrise and I would’ve kissed your mouth- without a doubt It would’ve saved me so much time Knowing it was always you on that far end of forever That I’ve been singing to Forever is not enough I want a whole life through to love you I wish I had junior year to disappear in your brown eyes My first song It should've been your song My first high It should've been your arms A life to love you I want a whole life through to love you I want a whole life long to love you more I wish I met you at five years old through a crack in the fence back when when clouds were angles and your hair was in tangles and the world was its own sacrament Those halcyon flashes through the hour glass sand Now I only see in pictures when I once could've held your hand I couldn't saved you from your parents fighting I could've joined you in the closet hiding You could've saved me from the prejudice and those goddamned fundamentalists In the time that I have left I won't waste the rest of these years I want twin Roman candles shooting I want twin liter beers Forever is not enough I want a whole life through to love you we coulda had swim team and spring steen and blue skies Forever is not enough I want a whole life through to love you I wish I had junior year to disappear in your brown eyes My first song It should've been your song My first time It should've been your arms A life to love you I want a whole life through to love you I want a whole life long to love you more And if we come back here, let's find each other first
3.
Lost & Found 04:12
When you find your love you'll find your song Even though you've been digging through the break of dawn You've been pushing when the push is gone You think it makes you strong Oh, but nobody knows where it goes When it goes Love takes some time to bloom When it's right it'll find you When it's right it'll find you Like sunlight breaking through When it's right it'll come to you When it's right it'll find you When there's nothing left to mediate You take your coat and you close the gate And you grow your hair and branches long And you lose your days in the LA sun Oh, but nobody knows where it goes When it goes Love takes some time to bloom When it's right it'll find you When it's right it'll find you Like sunlight breaking through When it's right it'll come to you When it's right it'll find you We are mostly wasted time Half asleep and half divine Waiting for the faintest light Waiting for these wounds to heal No we're never as lost or as found as we think we are No we're never as lost or as found as we think we are Love takes some time to bloom When it's right it'll find you When it's right it'll find you Like sunlight breaking through When it's right it'll come to you When it's right it'll find you
4.
The sunset sky he's leaving your home town behind The pine trees fade Tiny cars on their way They're almost there Almost where? What do you call the fear of being forgotten What if no one remembers your name? What if we are just the food for the cotton The roots of the garden one day Does it frighten or free us to think the world doesn't need us at all? The valley is wide You can see the lights from the sky The silent shimmering earth Another young fool takes his turn And arrives at LAX With a kick drum in his chest What do you call the fear of being forgotten? What if no one remembers your name? What if we are just the food for the cotton The roots of the garden one day Does it frighten or free us to think the world doesn't need us? And out memoirs And our cave our Our walk of fame star Our trophy wall Everybody's walking away and nobody knows what to say Except to make it clear By God I was here Hollywood knows Where the stars really go and it's not where you think But the parking is free I'm not being clever when I say Hollywood forever What do you call the fear of being forgotten What if no one remembers our name? What if we are just the food for the cotton The roots of the garden one day But we'll honk our horn And forget that we were born naked
5.
I have to struggle with the office calls And pretend that money's gonna break my fall I have to struggle on the 405 And I have to struggle not to lose my mind sometimes But I Don't want to struggle with you I just want to lay my head down On your bed And see your face When I've got nothing left Oh love love love, just take my love This life is hard enough I have to struggle with the IRS And the voice of my father inside my chest And I have to struggle to keep my pace With at world that's always running away But hey Don't want to struggle with you I just want to lay my head down On your bed And see your face When I've got nothing left Oh love love love, just take my love This life is hard enough I've been so low Just let me get close No more doors slammed Just red wine and soft hands I've had hard times I want blue skies And I Don't want to struggle with you
6.
Winter is for Kierkegaard and mapping out those shining stars and over coats to Pont Des Artes and reaching through the vast expanse of sky oh holy night You always ask the how and why, I always answer "pourquois pas" we are young and we are free and all the world rests at our feet, and why well why not? I’m not sorry about the weather It’s cold it’s calm and it’s clear We’ll sit inside and we’ll talk about whatever Till the sky falls down around us I take my coffee with my cream and all the world is as it seems and home is not too far away but it is for another day ahead I think and the solid world melts into air, and permanence becomes a prayer an echo rising from the deep, to wake the hearts of those who sleep alone we've miles to go I’m not sorry about the weather It’s cold it’s calm and it’s clear We’ll drink some wine and we’ll talk about whatever Till the sky falls down around us I've seen the world in black and white, and I've seen the fire and the light in violence and calm respite, and fumbling through I decide that I know nothing But winter is for Kierkegaard, and reaching, reaching through the dark and holding onto that honest heart with every bit of life you have and it's all it's alright  I’m not sorry about the weather It’s cold it’s calm and it’s clear We’ll sit inside and we’ll talk about whatever Till the sky falls down around us
7.
Lucky Ones 04:29
You could've said goodbye to me While you were packing up your limousine I would've wrote you a song to sing  With tears in my eyes And what did you take away From your years upon this stage All the souls you helped saved or the tears in your eyes They say some folks make it and some folks fake it and some just break your heart I’ve been lost in the lowlands drunk with the house band brother i’ve been torn apart They say we are the lucky ones Then this is my lucky song Step up step up you would be dancers Are you seeking answers tonight Well I’m not here to guide you Just to remind you how to move your feet in time While the lucky ones, the lucky ones cry  How deep did you have to cut To forget the rest of us Down past the fear and pain and love And pride and doubt But brother where do I go now To fight the demons out When you're just a song I'm singing out To a weekend crowd They say some folks make it and some folks fake it and some just break your heart I’ve been lost in the lowlands drunk with the house band brother i’ve been torn apart They say we are the lucky ones Then this is my lucky song Step up step up you would be dancers Are you seeking answers tonight Well I’m not here to guide you Just to remind you how to move your feet in time While the lucky ones, the lucky ones cry  They say some folks make it and some folks fake it and some just break your heart Some folks fight it Some folks hide it and some don't say goodbye The lucky ones, the lucky ones cry
8.
The thrill of being five years old When he thinks about one thing he thinks about one thing It's like his heart could just explode I know that burning, I know that yearning too The wisdom feeling of 24 When he thinks about one thing, he thinks about her Now he’s not so self assured I know that world view I’ve seen that girl too I remember the stars growing up in Georgia They don't shine as bright tonight in California I've walked a thousand miles, and I've been a thousand people In this life- in this holy light And the only thing I'll ever know is Life is bigger than we are And it's mending and breaking and it's radiating We are one beating heart, we are one, we are one We are one beating heart The wisdom of my dad the carpenter When he thinks about one thing He thinks about all things Like time and symmetry and form I’ll build my own house on my father’s old house A thousand voices in this tide Some are yours and some are mine Won't you wade with me in the water I hear my grandfather I hear my granddaughter I remember the stars growing up in Georgia They don't shine as bright tonight in California I've walked a thousand miles, and I've been a thousand people In this life- in this holy light And the only thing I'll ever know is Life is bigger than we are And it's mending and breaking and it's radiating We are one beating heart, we are one, we are one We are one beating heart The wisdom of a falling star We're all just stage hands In a play that We could never understand I've seen the sunset I have no regrets
9.
AGAINST THE DARK (David Hodges, Tyler Lyle, Ryan O’Neal) years running out of me a promise i could never keep nearsighted covenants the soaring hope of innocence this beating in my chest feels infinite to me but even stars will pass away but not before they paint their flames across the canvas outer space our love will leave a mark against the dark can i hold on to you forever spring always in bloom i curse the fading sun erasing our elysium these heartbeats we have left feel infinite to me
10.
Dracula saw her from across the room He got his cane and walked up to her Said “you and me we can make believe the world is just beginning” The wicked witch said watch your back You don't wanna die from a heart attack He said “if i go down, Mrs. Brown you're going down with me” She said “you look like this boy i used to know” Who wore his socks up high And took me to the picture show They say when you know, you know And this is not my first rodeo Everybody wants to be Somebody's someone Somebody's someone But when you're dancing next to me You know that you got one You're somebody's someone The cake was stale and punch was bad But the jello brains weren't the worst he'd had It was quite the scene, that halloween in the Morris Hall Cafeteria The Wolfman waltzed with the orderly And rose the ghost didn't need a sheet And heaven came down on the festive crowd in the Morris Hall Cafeteria She said “you look like this boy i used to know” Who wore his socks up high And took me to the picture show They say when you know, you know And this is not my first rodeo Everybody wants to be Somebody's someone Somebody's someone But when you're dancing next to me You know that you got one You're somebody's someone Dracula he kissed her neck And said “we've had some good years, Bess” He saw surprise in her eyes like maybe she remembered She squeezed his hand a little more Ss he led her off the floor They shared the light the final night they ever danced together She said “you look like this boy i used to know” Who wore his socks up high And took me to the picture show They say when you know, you know And this is not my first rodeo Everybody wants to be Somebody's someone Somebody's someone But when you're dancing next to me You know that you got one You're somebody's someone
11.
Young Men 03:57
Young men They don't take what they've been given Young men They write songs about young women They just want to live forever They just want to live forever Amen In a song, when they're gone amen And girls You know I hear that they buy potions Girls They buy creams and lotions They just want to live forever They just want to live forever Amen Like a daisy never fades amen Young brides They live on through their children Architects They live on through their buildings Presidents get statues of themselves Novelists get their books on dusty shelves But Old men They are never in a hurry Old men Their faces free from worry They don't care to live forever They don't care to live forever Amen Just to greet the end like a friend amen The Stone It returns to the ground There are no ghosts No promises of sacred sounds Every statue disintegrates And ever word fades from every page Young Men We don't take what we've been given Young Men We do write songs about young women We all just want to live forever and we are sorry we will never
12.
Feel Free 02:42
If you’re worried that your heart’s been broken If it takes a little time to open Feel free Feel free with me You always tell me about your fear of falling Oh, but darlin’ if you hear the calling Feel free Feel free with me And when you’re ready to jump Just let go I’ll be waiting darling, don’t you know? And when you’re so convinced that you’re sinking Maybe baby you’re just overthinking? If you’re worried that your heart’s been broken If it takes a little time to open Feel free Feel free with me
13.

about

There’s a place I like to go hiking in Joshua Tree National Park called the 49 Palms Oasis Trail. If you live in Southern California and you’re looking for a day hike, I’d recommend it.. It’s off Route 62 and you have to take Canyon road south for nearly two miles, but there’s a secluded parking lot and a trailhead. I’ve come to this place in many different spirits. The first time I saw it on the map, I was intrigued because the word "oasis" is a magical word and exists next to the word "mirage" in my mind. It conjures up images of Bugs Bunny and air brush t-shirts from Panama City. After the first time I hiked it, I brought along Anna, hoping that she might appreciate it as much as I did. The last time I did this hike, I was a alone. I'd gone too many days without any good news. I was still sitting with the death of my friend. I’d lost a manager. I'd been passed over by too many label A&Rs in LA. I released an EP that I wasn't proud of. The lady at Guitar Center asked me if I wanted to apply for a part time position. That was the last straw, for whatever vain reason.
I went to Joshua Tree with a notebook, the essays of Montaigne and a tent. I desperately needed to hear something. I needed to know whether to keep pushing or to change course. I wanted affirmation that this was indeed my path, that I hadn’t absent-mindedly stumbled onto another one. I heard nothing in the silence of the first day. I drove the miles of the park looking for signs. There was a Joshua Tree that had been struck by lightening burst open into a circle on the ground. There was a long silent sunset. I knocked the bumper off my hatchback the next morning trying to go down a scenic road in the park that was posted as four wheel drive only. It wasn't until the third afternoon when I was on the 49 Palms trail that I found something that resembled an answer.
An oasis is an isolated area of vegetation surrounded by desert. At the 49 Palms Oasis there is an underground stream running between two mountains and there's a patch of palm trees above it. I counted- there are almost 60 fan palms surrounded by rocks and dirt in all directions (so eleven or so new ones since they named the place). On this particular hike, after spending the afternoon sitting on a boulder near the stream reading my book and watching the strange desert birds chase each other through the shrubs, I noticed a tree that looked like it had been set on fire. I walked closer to it, and saw fire damage on other trees near it as well. I started to despair. Who would set an oasis on fire? What is this arson trend involving trees I care about? I'd been reading about the arsonist in the Inyo National Forrest, and was worried that this might be a secret epidemic. My unfulfilled spiritual quest to the desert and my disillusionment with a society that is inexplicably setting fire to trees put me into despair. I decided to just go home and give up.
The silver lining came by way of another sort of oasis- cell service in the desert. When I walked back up the mountain on the way to my car, my phone buzzed with the text messages that had accumulated in the dead zone of the park. I'd kept my iPhone on to use as a camera, but I’d forgotten about it all day. With a nearly dead battery on the top of that mountain and the help of Google, I inquired about the arson at 49 Palms. After a bit of searching, I learned that there had been a fire there recently, but it was not arson. Fan palms catch fire all the time. Of course they do. They are desert plants after all. It turns out, fire is a beneficial and necessary part of a fan palm's growth. Fire clears the dead palms fronds, it causes seed production to explode. They have tubes throughout the trunk that transport water and nutrients which provide insulation for the trunk from the fire (as opposed most non-desert trees that have these vascular tissues in the bark). It also burns up smaller plants near it that would compete for resources with it. Fire is good for fan palms. It helps them live. Something so stupid and simple reminded me that there is a course- there is a reason. The reason is inborn. I sat on a rock and wept as the sun set over the desert.
The difference between revelation and realization is so slight, but it's at the center of everything. The magician vs. the musician. Bliss vs. Joy. The native genius of desert plants is that they are engineered to survive. Of course they are. These things are not accidents. With a tight lens all I could see was the tree killed by lightening, the tree killed by disappointment, the tree killed by time, the tree killed by fire. What I had missed was the view from the mountain. Plants survive in the desert against all odds on their wayward course onward. The point is not their lives, or our lives singularly. The point is Life- that One Big Love that we participate in even when we ignore it.
I wrote as fast as I could sitting on that rock at the top of the mountain before the sun set. A mantra was given again. Existence is perfect. The answer is life itself. According to the sloppy handwriting left on the pages of my Moleskin: “There is a point when ambition becomes unhelpful. It’s so much more important to be a good human, a dependable husband, a kind friend than it is to be a self involved, complicated artist driven by ghosts in the wind. There is no such thing as calling. You choose what you value. Go home. Pick the manager with the most experience, and see what happens. It’s time to get your songs ready.”
A couple months later, a vinyl recording of “Happy Woman Blues” by Lucinda Williams that I’d ordered arrived in the mail. It’s one of Anna’s favorite albums. She didn’t have a copy on vinyl though, so I was excited for her to get home from work so that I could surprise her. It was late June and we were getting married in September. We lived on a hill by the sea, in a tiny one bedroom apartment in Santa Monica. She arrived home that night in tears. Her company was shutting down the LA office and for her to keep her job, we would have to move to New York City as soon as we got married. Our perfect life by the beach would be no more, replace by another unknown.
After the wedding, after the move, after the bookshelf was full and the vinyl records were put in their proper place and the trees had nearly given up their dead leaves, I met a producer named Sanford Livingston at a cafe called The General Greene in Fort Greene, Brooklyn. I played Sanford some songs that I'd written on the west coast, and we booked a day in a studio with a full band. Time and inertia carried the rest along, just like it carries everything else, aimless, onward.
Some people are born near the stream. They have big leaves and never need much special care- so long as the stream doesn’t dry up or change course. Some people are more adaptable to changing climates- they know what it is to have dry seasons and know how to hold out until rain comes. Some live in the desert and can store one good spring rain within them that will keep them for years with the hidden reservoirs within them that we will never know about.
The subtext of this record is my time that I spent in Los Angeles. I was 25 when I moved in spring of 2011. I am 29 now. It represents three and a half years of struggle and joy. I moved on from a bad relationship. I lost some people close to me- some due to old age and illness, and some to depression. I also found a beautiful brown eyed soul from California with deep roots and high branches who agreed to be my wife. I found a voice that is mine. I found a story to tell. I found my answer to Nietzsche's question from The Gay Science as he proclaims that God is dead, “What water is there for us to clean ourselves?” I finally have some answers.
The project can be read as a dialectic, told from three different lenses, or as narrative from darkness to light. It can also be read as one single question- one that I ask in earnest and I ask expecting an answer: How do I survive in the desert?

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released June 2, 2015

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Tyler Lyle Atlanta, Georgia

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